Baby Braden Petska

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Dear B,
As I sit here fumbling my way through writing this letter to you I am blinded by the many tears I shed for you. Tears that I shed for the pride you instilled in me as the biggest little hero I know....tears for the precious title you helped create for me, "mom".....tears for the heartache I feel knowing you are so far away.....tears for the emptiness I feel everyday as I deeply long for you and your daily gifts....tears for the moments when I beg God to give you back....tears for a day like today when I can only visit your picture and your gravesite and not hold you in my arms. Thank you for giving me the gift of motherhood - a gift no one can take away.

Until next time.....
Holding you closer than ever to my heart,
Your Mama

42 Comments:

Blogger ESolgos said...

Oh sweet Stephanie, how my heart hurts for you. I can't imagine how painful this Mother's Day must be for you. You loved Braden so well. Crying with you.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stephanie,

Thinking of you during this very difficult day. You are a wonderful mother and Braden can feel your love all way up in heaven. Try and find moments of peace.

The Laughlin Family

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steph, You were on my mind all day yesterday. Anytime I felt grateful for what I had, I cried and my heart ached for what you are going through. I wish so bad that your tears could bring sweet Braden back. I hate that you, Rich and your family are going through this horrible nightmare. I can't imagine the pain you feel every day and on the special days like Mother's Day. Know that you ARE the best Mom ever. You truly are an inspiration. I love you and am thinking of you always! Can't wait to see you again. Jodi

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steph,

I hope that you were able to find some happiness in a day that often starts with "Happy". It's all so fresh and I'm sure so painful. Kudos for trying to find something positive in the day.

Continued prayers!
Jen Sadowski

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Ceida said...

Dear Mrs. Petska,

I can't even begin to imagine the heartache you have been going through, there are still no words I can say, and as much as I would like to rewind the clock.. I know I can't. All I can do is keep praying for your strength.. You are wonderful mother; and although Braden is not here to let you know those exact words; I'm sure he thanks you from above for providing such a loving and warm home for him.. He was truly blessed to have two amazing individuals as parents.



Much Much Love;
Ceida Elizarraraz

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey girlee... just wanted to send a hug your way this Mother's Day... I thought of you all day yesterday and how great of a Mom you are to B. You loved him through the wost of times and I take confort in know ing that he knew more love than some children know their entire lives! That other Bryden I told you of went home sat afternoon.... hang in there my friend!
xoxoxoxox, cindy

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Stephanie - I continue to think of you and Rich everyday and pray for your strength. I hope your new babe will bring new joy to your lives and perhaps ease some of the sorrow you are feeling. Hang in there!

Bridget O'Meara

10:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steph,
I thought about you on Sunday and everyday as always. I know Braden was shining down from heaven just to give you one enormous hug and kiss. I just want you to know that you are one incredible mother and such an inspiration to me. Thanks again for sharing all of your thoughts on here. Lots of big hugs to you today and always.
Julia Steffens

5:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steph--You are in my prayers continuously, and my heart aches for you. Thank you for continuing to share what is on your mind and in your heart. You are an amazing woman and mother, and I am thinking of you during this difficult time. Nickie Doyle

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your thank you post cards came today. What a beautiful job you did on those....I have it hanging on our fridge and the saying is stuck in my head. Thank you for sharing Braden with us...truly our hearts will forever be connected because of him....

(((( heart hugs))) and prayers
Tammy

10:08 PM  
Blogger Dana said...

Whatever you feel is the right feeling...let yourself feel it and be in the moment. You are doing this with grace, and I can't imagine how.

I hope that you are able to take good care of yourself and even pamper yourself as you and your husband deserve lots of indulgence.

I wish you love and light in the welcoming of your new baby in the coming weeks.

You said it best, you are a MOM, and a mom to Braden, and nobody can take that away from you, ever. The motherhood you experienced with Braden has prepared you to be the perfect mother to your second child as well. The new baby will forever be blessed by the parent that you are because of Braden.

10:00 AM  
Blogger Jer, Kari, Alayna-Maria said...

Oh Sweetie. We are crying with you as you mourn your sweet baby each day. You are forever his mommy.
I am so sorry Steph. Praying you have better, more peaceful days ahead.

7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot put in to words how strong you are. The love you shared with Braden spills over and into my heart. God Bless you Stephanie.
Ambrosia Stiles
J&K Pediatrics

11:14 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

Stephanie,

My heart aches and cries for you, especially on Mother's Day. If I had to use one word to define Mother, it would be Stephanie. I hope you can take some comfort knowing that Braden had the best Mommy. In his short time, you gave him what some people don't get in a very long life. It brings to mind that saying Quality not quantity. He was a blessed little boy, who was raised by examples of loving kindness. He brought joy to your lives, you and Rich brought joy to his and the three of you brought joy to the world. Take care my dear, and know you are always in my thoughts, prayers and held in that wondrous light. Love, Pat xoxoxo

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